The 7 Best Personal Development Tips to Guarantee Success

The clients in our courses are always asking for some help getting a quick start for their personal development . So I wanted to share with you what I have learned that will help you get a quick start and up level your career and personal success faster than you ever thought possible!

(If you love the image below, please pin it to your favorite board!)

Here are the 7 best personal development tips to guarantee success:

1. Just show up.

Participate in our community Facebook group. The more you put in, the more you will get out of this program. Help others. Ask questions. There are no dumb questions. This is your time. Being a successful entrepreneur or leader involves taking risks and not being afraid to fail. Get involved wherever you can.

2. Ask for help.

You can’t do this alone. If you are stuck, just ask. Get the fast track. I am here for you. I check in on ourprivate Facebook group daily (if not hourly sometimes, I do love you!). We will make sure you get your question answered and that you are headed on the right track.

3. Take imperfect action.

Don’t try to be perfect! Take more action than just thinking about your dream career or business. Take small baby steps. If I hadn’t taken baby steps 6 years ago, my business wouldn’t be where it is right now. So try to take small baby steps every single day.

4. Block out your calendar now.

Add personal development online trainings and reading time to your calendar right now. Block it off. Wake up earlier if you have to. Remember small 20 minute chunks of focus time can definitely add up when you are focused on the RIGHT activities for your new business or career.

5. Focus on one thing at a time.

Make a time weekly to prioritize your to do list and make a list of ONLY 6 items that are your priorities for the week. Don’t get bogged down with 30 items on your daily to do list. Just one thing at a time.

6. Start saying NO more.

What isn’t matching the new you that you are becoming. What do you have to say no to? Saying no is OK, it’s a complete sentence. You need to protect your time right now. The difference between the successful and the very successful is that the very successful say no to almost everything.

7. Model what’s already out there.

You don’t have to create something from scratch. You can do research and see how others are already making money and then see how you can add your personal touch and uniqueness. If others are already in careers that you wan, you know it is possible. Get to know them, talk to them and seek all the advice you can!

Alright, so now it’s time to get started! I hope you enjoyed these 7 personal development tips that will guarantee your success. Come back to them often and make sure you are practicing them everyday!

Original post found here:

http://www.classycareergirl.com/2016/01/personal-development-tips/

Read More

Your Individual Development Plan

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

This question is one of the lynchpins of the personal development field. It’s usually followed by instructions to visualize yourself having achieved those goals, and maybe an admonishment to ask yourself if what you’re doing now will get you there.

None of this is hard. What is hard, though, is making a plan that will get you there, once you cut out all the stuff that won’t. It’s fairly easy to figure out the steps you need to take for a big project, even one that spans several years. It’s harder to plan for big life goals — things like becoming better at your job, spending more time with your family, getting more organized.

To help with this kind of planning, I’m borrowing an idea from the business world: the Individual Development Plan, or “IDP” for short. An IDP is a sort of agreement between an employee and their employer to work towards a set of goals together.

There’s no requirement that your develop an IDP in the context of a business, though. Anyone can put together an IDP that helps them work towards their personal goals. At its root, an IDP is simply a personal plan for growth — something we should all have, regardless of who pays our wages.

Creating your Individual Development Plan

There is no set format that an IDP has to take. A single page listing goals and steps you can take to get you closer to them is perfectly adequate.

If your employer offers some sort of IDP program, speak with your human resources department about getting some guidance — you may find your employer is willing to pay for quite a few steps along the way, if they feel a better you will add value to their company.

But going it alone is just fine, too — maybe you’re an entrepreneur, or a student, or a worker in the kind of job where personal development isn’t a priority. This isn’t rocket science; it’s not even model rocket science.

Here’s what you need to do:

1. Take inventory: This is the hardest part of creating an IDP: you need to know what your goals are. Don’t worry too much, though — it’s perfectly fine to shift your goals as you work through your IDP.
   While considering your goals, focus on developing your strengths — not compensating for your weaknesses. You will have a much harder time motivating yourself to work against your nature than to work with it by doing things you like and have some talent at. You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to be good at everything.
2. Write a mission statement (optional): A personal mission statementisn’t for everyone, but many people find having one to be a useful standard to measure your actions against. The idea is, you can always ask yourself, “does this action do [whatever your mission is]?”
3. Do research: Find out a) what you need to learn to improve or enter a new area, and b) how you can gain that knowledge. Look at job descriptions, career guides, trade magazines, and other sources and figure out what your next steps are. Then identify the places — schools, seminars, conventions, mentors, books, blogs, etc. — that offer what you need.
4. Develop two plans: Although you’re aiming towards a long-term goal (or set of goals), what you do in the short-term is going to affect your long-term planning. This is life we’re talking about, not civic engineering — the step aren’t always clear. So write a short-term plan for the next year, and a longer-term plan for the next 5 years. Again, these don’t have to be all that complex; listing 2 or 3 things you want to do for each goal is probably sufficient.
5. Figure out an assessment standard: How will you measure your success as you move forward? Goals that can’t be assessed in some way are very hard to stay motivated to work towards. Create a set of interim milestones — passing a class, getting an article published, making x dollars — and pay attention to whether you’re meeting them.
6. Reassess periodically: Technically this happens after the IDP is created, but knowing you’ll reassess every 6 months or a year will help you make better decisions now, so I put it here. Make sure your plans and goals stay in alignment and that your goals still make sense. Do notlet yourself stick to an IDP for the sake of seeing through a commitment; over several years, your goals are bound to change, and your IDP should change accordingly.

7.  Commit and take action: An IDP does you no good if it hangs neglected on a cork board for three years with the promise that you’ll get to it “someday”. Once you’ve made a plan, commit to taking the first steps immediately.

What should be in your Individual Development Plan?

Although the requirements for learning what you need/want to learn will vary widely, you should at least consider how each of the following could fit:

• Courses and workshops: From formal university instruction to extension classes to one-off events like seminars.
• Reading: Books, magazines, websites, newsletters, trade journals.
• Networking: Don’t neglect the value that building connections within your current niche or your desired one can bring. Figure out who in your field is worth following, and how to get close to them.
• Mentoring: A special kind of networking; consider asking a leader in your field to “take you under their wing”.
• Ride-alongs/shadowing: Hands-on experience is invaluable. Ask to spend a day with someone whose knowledge and skills you admire, learning their work from their perspective.

• Outreach: Form or join a group devoted to your topics.
• Reassignment/move to a new job: Ask your employer to shift you into a different department or position, or find work that better matches where you want to end up.
Not all of this is necessary, of course, but there are lots of creative ways to gain new skills and bodies of knowledge or develop existing ones that we simply don’t know about.
An IDP isn’t a binding contract; it’s an agreement, or a statement of intentions. The main point is to figure out what actions you could be taking and would like to take but aren’t. If you throw it out and start over in six months, that’s fine — as long as you’re doing something in the mean time.
If you find you’re stuck in a rut with no idea of how to get out, take an afternoon and write up your own IDP. You might well be surprised at what occurs to you when you start thinking about not just where you would rather be but how you can get there.
Original post found here:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/featured/your-individual-development-plan.html

Read More

POSITIVE ATTITUDE ENHANCES SUCCESS

It’s easy to underestimate the power of having a positive attitude. However, that would be a mistake. A positive attitude shapes your perspective, enhances health, increases productivity, and benefits those around you. It’s surprising how much a change in attitude can impact the results you’re producing!

Your attitude is under your control, so you can use it to your advantage.

SEE HOW A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE BENEFITS YOU AND ENHANCES YOUR SUCCESS

1. An optimistic attitude leaves a positive impression. Your attitude doesn’t just impact the way you view the world. It also changes the way the world views you. It’s easy to pick those people that view the world from a positive perspective versus one that’s negative. When others view you in a positive light, you’ll be presented with more opportunities in life.

* Go through life leaving a positive impression and you can expect your successes to come more easily.

2. You have more control over your life. Those with a positive mental attitude are more likely to believe that they can influence the direction of their lives. People with a negative attitude believe they are stuck with few options to make life better.

* Happiness is correlated with the number of options you believe are available to you.

3. A positive attitude strengthens your relationships. Would you rather spend time with someone who’s positive or negative? It’s an easy question to answer. Positive people are uplifting and make others feel good. Positive people are energizing.

* Successful relationships are easier to create and maintain if others enjoy spending time with you.

4. You enjoy better health when you have positive thoughts. There are countless studies that show the link between attitude and health. You’ll also save a lot of money by making fewer trips to the doctor. It’s much more challenging to be successful if your health is poor.

5. Your productivity will soar. Do you have a hard time getting things done? An upgrade in your attitude will help! Think about how much you get accomplished when you’re feeling down and negative. If your productivity is suffering at work or at home, take a look at your attitude.

6. It’s easier to persist during challenging times. Things don’t always go according to plan. If you expect a negative outcome, you’re likely to give up and go home. On the other hand, an enthusiastic, optimistic attitude will help you to stay in the game.

* Many success experts believe that persistence is the most important quality a person with big goals can possess. Persistence is easy when you have positive expectations. Set big goals. Be positive. Persist.

7. Self-confidence and a positive attitude go hand in hand. By ridding yourself of negative thoughts, you create an ideal environment for self-confidence to grow and flourish. How can you have self-confidence when you expect the worst? A negative attitude suggests a lack of confidence in your ability to handle the situation.

8. Peace of mind. We all have a limited ability to handle stress. When life becomes too stressful, our ability to be successful is hampered. The tranquility that a positive attitude provides gives you the mental space necessary to be at your best each day.

There is no downside to uplifting your attitude. A positive mental attitude has a positive influence on your outlook, health, relationships, and overall happiness. In turn, these improve your ability to be successful. Work hard and stay focused, but be positive during the process. You’ll feel better and enjoy the results.

Original post found here:

http://personaldevelopmentmaster.com/positive-attitude-success

Read More

6 Warning Signs A Girl Isn’t Worth A Relationship

This article was originally published on Roosh V.

In the past I’ve shared warning signs when a girl will “disappoint” you in some way. I’ve discovered some other more serious infractions based on the way she interacts with you.

In the movie A Bronx’s Tale, a mafia don teaches a young man that after a girl gets in his car, she should lean over and unlock his door to be considered a keeper. Here’s the scene:

While my warning signs aren’t tests, they say a lot about the worthiness of a girl for long-term relationships. If a girl does any of these, dump her.

1. Changing your music without first asking for permission.

The first thing I do when get a girl over to my shack is put on some music. Depending on the mood I’m trying to set, I’ll go with something like The Weeknd, Vanessa da Mata, or Michael Jackson. As I’m making drinks, if she goes to the laptop, cuts off my music, then pulls up her own music on YouTube, she’s only getting fucked that night and never again. Even though she wants to play “this one song,” I cut her crap off and put mine back on. I say, “If you wanted to listen to your music you should’ve invited me to your place.”

2. Giving you unsolicited advice.

I don’t care if I have the most obvious problem in the world that can be solved withbaking soda, but if I don’t ask you for help or at least show I’m open to receiving help, then shut your mouth. You’re not my mom and you’re not someone who has more life experience than me, so spare me your harebrained ideas for solving a man’s real problems.

3. Saying “you should.”

There is absolutely no reason for a girl to ever tell a man “you should…” It insinuates that not only are you currently doing something wrong, but that she knows more than you, which is extremely unlikely. She is free to say, “Have you thought of…” or “What do you think about…” but the moment she brings out the word “should,” a synonym of “must,” I know she’s an arrogant harp who thinks she knows more than she really does. The only things I should or must do are pay my taxes and die.

4. Not apologizing when she texts or takes a call in your presence.

If I’m on a first or second date with a girl, and she starts reading texts, sending texts, or actually taking a call without excusing herself first, she will never see me again. Even the most conceited attention whores will let off an “Excuse me I have to take this real quick.” Otherwise she doesn’t deserve another meeting with you, even if she puts out and turns out to be okay in bed. You let a girl disrespect you like this and you might as well hand her your balls.

5. Asking you to postpone your orgasm so she can gain more pleasure.

If you’re about to bust your nut and a girl does tells you “No” or “Wait,” she’s an inconsiderate slut who is now causing you direct harm. A man’s nut is sacred, and for her to impede that should be criminal. I’m serious. One time a girl postponed my nut and then I lost it completely. I couldn’t get it back and I was left with minor groin pain. I never contacted her again.

6. Not urging you to continue pumping even if it’s starting to cause her discomfort.

I’ll tell you what love is: when a girl begs you to keep going even though you know she already came, even though she’s drying up, and even though you know it’s causing her pain. If she tells you to stop the millisecond after she gets her nut, without you getting yours, I want you to tell her that the point of having sex with women is so a man doesn’t have to use his hand, and that she has performed below the hand. That’s why we do all this shit to bang women—to get our nut. If she can’t do that for us, then she’s useless as a living being.

Let go of girls who show arrogance, disrespect, or selfishness. Depending on the severity of her offense she may still be worth one fuck, but other than that you’re a fool if continue seeing girls who display these anti-feminine traits. The sad truth is that most of this list was developed when I lived in Scandinavia, where my hand was much more enjoyable than most of the girls I ended up in bed with.

Original post found here:

http://www.returnofkings.com/58791/6-warning-signs-a-girl-isnt-worth-a-relationship

Read More

Enjoy the Silence at Saturday’s Mass Meditation for Peace

Sat 8/6
Mass Meditation for Peace

• Courtesy of ONE Minded Maven

Created by school counselor and a mindfulness instructor Carrie Edmond as a means to expand her network of educators, students and families, the local organization ONE Mindful Maven champions the benefits of mindfulness through coaching, workshops and retreats. Organized in an effort
to “offset the excessive negativity and suffering currently being seen and experienced in the media, the U.S., and the world,” the group’s Mass Meditation for Peace is set to bring together light and energy workers, shamans, healers and peace-lovers for an hour of unified silence in the serene setting of the Jingu House at the Japanese Tea Garden. Led by local artist and graphic designer Danielle Cunningham, the free morning of positive energy and stress relief invites like-minded community members to “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Those unable to attend are encouraged to join the livestream via the Facebook event page. Free, 8-9am Sat, Japanese Tea Garden, Jingu House, 3853 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-4648,onemindfulmaven.com.

Original post found here:

http://www.sacurrent.com/ArtSlut/archives/2016/08/05/enjoy-the-silence-at-saturdays-mass-meditation-for-peace

Read More

Depression Treatment

Therapy, Medication, and Lifestyle Changes That Can Help Depression

When you’re depressed, it can feel like you’ll never get out from under a dark shadow. However, even the most severe depression is treatable. So, if your depression is keeping you from living the life you want to, don’t hesitate to seek help. Learning about your depression treatment options will help you decide what approach is right for you. From therapy to medication to healthy lifestyle changes, there are many effective treatments that can help you overcome depression and reclaim your life.

Exploring your depression treatment options

Just as no two people are affected the exact same way by depression, there is no “one size fits all” treatment that cures depression. What works for one person might not work for another. The best way to treat depression is to become as informed as possible about the treatment options, and then tailor them to meet your needs.

Depression treatment tips:

• Learn as much as you can about your depression. It’s important to determine whether your depression symptoms are due to an underlying medical condition. If so, that condition will need to be treated first. The severity of your depression is also a factor. The more severe the depression, the more intensive the treatment you're likely to need.
• It takes time to find the right treatment. It might take some trial and error to find the treatment and support that works best for you. For example, if you decide to pursue therapy it may take a few attempts to find a therapist that you really click with. Or you may try an antidepressant, only to find that you don't need it if you take a daily half hour walk. Be open to change and a little experimentation.
• Don’t rely on medications alone. Although medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, it is not usually suitable for long-term use. Other treatments, including exercise and therapy, can be just as effective as medication, often even more so, but don't come with unwanted side effects. If you do decide to try medication, remember that medication works best when you make healthy lifestyle changes as well.
• Get social support. The more you cultivate your social connections, the more protected you are from depression. If you are feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to talk to trusted family members or friends, or seek out new connections at a depression support group, for example. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness and it won’t mean you’re a burden to others. Often, the simple act of talking to someone face-to-face can be an enormous help.
• Treatment takes time and commitment. All of these depression treatments take time, and sometimes it might feel overwhelming or frustratingly slow. That is normal. Recovery usually has its ups and downs.

Lifestyle changes: An essential part of depression treatment

Lifestyle changes are simple but powerful tools in treating depression. Sometimes they might be all you need. Even if you need other treatment, lifestyle changes go a long way towards helping lift depression. And they can help keep depression at bay once you are feeling better.

Lifestyle changes that can treat depression

• Exercise. Regular exercise can be as effective at treating depression as medication. Not only does exercise boost serotonin, endorphins, and other feel-good brain chemicals, it triggers the growth of new brain cells and connections, just like antidepressants do. Best of all, you don’t have to train for a marathon in order to reap the benefits. Even a half-hour daily walk can make a big difference. For maximum results, aim for 30 to 60 minutes of aerobic activity on most days.
• Nutrition. Eating well is important for both your physical and mental health. Eating small, well-balanced meals throughout the day will help you keep your energy up and minimize mood swings. While you may be drawn to sugary foods for the quick boost they provide, complex carbohydrates are a better choice. They'll get you going without the all-too-soon sugar crash.
• Sleep. Sleep has a strong effect on mood. When you don't get enough sleep, your depression symptoms will be worse. Sleep deprivation exacerbates irritability, moodiness, sadness, and fatigue. Make sure you're getting enough sleep each night. Very few people do well on less than seven hours a night. Aim for somewhere between seven to nine hours each night.
• Social support. Strong social networks reduce isolation, a key risk factor for depression. Keep in regular contact with friends and family, or consider joining a class or group. Volunteering is a wonderful way to get social support and help others while also helping yourself.
• Stress reduction. Make changes in your life to help manage and reduce stress. Too much stress exacerbates depression and puts you at risk for future depression. Take the aspects of your life that stress you out, such as work overload or unsupportive relationships, and find ways to minimize their impact.

Ruling out medical causes of depression

If you suspect that you may be depressed, and lifestyle changes haven’t worked, make an appointment to see your primary care doctor for a thorough checkup. If your depression is the result of medical causes, therapy and antidepressants will do little to help. The depression won’t lift until the underlying health problem is identified and treated.
Your doctor will check for medical conditions that mimic depression, and also make sure you are not taking medications that can cause depression as a side effect. Many medical conditions and medications can cause symptoms of depression, including sadness, fatigue, and the loss of pleasure. Hypothyroidism, or underactive thyroid, is a particularly common mood buster, especially in women. Older adults, or anyone who takes many different medications each day, are at risk for drug interactions that cause symptoms of depression. The more medications you are taking, the greater the risk for drug interactions.

Finding a therapist to treat your depression

If there is no underlying medical cause for your symptoms of depression, then finding a mental health specialist is the next best step for treatment. Although there are many types of mental health professionals, one of the most important things to consider when choosing a therapist is your connection with this person. The right therapist will be a caring and supportive partner in your depression treatment and recovery.
There are many ways to find a therapist. Word of mouth is one of the best ways to find a good therapist. Your friends and family may have some ideas, or your primary care doctor may be able to provide an initial referral. National mental health organizations can also help with referral lists of licensed credentialed providers. If cost is an issue, check out local senior centers, religious organizations, and community mental health clinics. Such places often offer therapy on a sliding scale for payment.

Psychotherapy for depression treatment

Talk therapy is an extremely effective treatment for depression. What you learn in therapy gives you skills and insight to help prevent depression from coming back.
There are many types of therapy available. Three of the more common methods used in depression treatment include cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and psychodynamic therapy. Often, a blended approach is used.
Some types of therapy teach you practical techniques on how to reframe negative thinking and employ behavioral skills in combating depression. Therapy can also help you work through the root of your depression, helping you understand why you feel a certain way, what your triggers are for depression, and what you can do to stay healthy.

Therapy and “the big picture” in depression treatment

One of the hallmarks of depression is feeling overwhelmed and having trouble focusing. Therapy helps you step back and see what might be contributing to your depression and how you can make changes. Here are some of the “big picture” themes that therapy can help with:

• Relationships. Understanding the patterns of your relationships, building better relationships, and improving current relationships will help reduce isolation and build social support, important in preventing depression.
• Setting healthy boundaries. If you are stressed and overwhelmed, and feel like you just can’t say no, you are more at risk for depression. Setting healthy boundaries in relationships and at work can help relieve stress, and therapy can help you identify and validate the boundaries that are right for you.
• Handling life’s problems. Talking with a trusted therapist can provide good feedback on more positive ways to handle life’s challenges and problems.

Individual or group therapy for depression treatment?

When you hear the word “therapy” you might automatically think of one-on-one sessions with a therapist. However, group therapy can be very useful in depression treatment as well. What are the benefits of each? Both group and individual therapy sessions usually last about an hour. In individual therapy, you are building a strong relationship with one person, and may feel more comfortable sharing some sensitive information with one person than with a group. You also get individualized attention.
Don’t rule out group therapy, however. Listening to peers going through the same struggles can validate your experiences and help build self-esteem. Often group members are at different points in their depression, so you might get tips from both someone in the trenches and someone who has worked through a challenging problem. As well as offering inspiration and ideas, attending group therapy can also help increase your social activities and network.

When the going gets tough in therapy...

As with remodeling a house, when you take apart things that haven't worked well in your life, it often makes them seem worse before they get better. When therapy seems difficult or painful, don't give up. If you discuss your feelings and reactions honestly with your therapist, it will help you move forward rather than retreat back to your old, less effective ways. However, if the connection with your therapist consistently starts to feel forced or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to explore other options for therapy as well. A strong trusting relationship is the foundation of good therapy.

Medication treatment for depression

Depression medication may be the most advertised treatment for depression, but that doesn’t mean it is the most effective. Depression is not just about a chemical imbalance in the brain. Medication may help relieve some of the symptoms of moderate and severe depression, but it doesn’t cure the underlying problem, and it’s usually not a long-term solution. Antidepressant medications also come with side effects and safety concerns, and withdrawal can be very difficult. If you're considering whether antidepressant medication is right for you, learning all the facts can help you make an informed decision.
If you are taking medication for depression, don’t ignore other treatments. Lifestyle changes and therapy not only help speed recovery from depression, but also provide skills to help prevent a recurrence.

Should you get antidepressants from your family doctor?

Family doctors might be the first professionals to recognize your depression. However, while they can prescribe antidepressants, it’s a good idea to explore your options with other mental health professionals who specialize in depression. Ask for a referral. You might end up working with a therapist and not needing medication at all. If you do need medication, a psychiatrist has advanced training and experience in depression, treatments, and medications.

Alternative and complementary treatments for depression

Alternative and complementary treatments for depression may include vitamin and herbal supplements, acupuncture, and relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or tai chi.

Vitamins and supplements for depression treatment

The jury is still out on how well herbal remedies, vitamins, or supplements work in treating depression. While many supplements are widely available over the counter, in many cases their efficacy has not been scientifically proven. If your depression symptoms are in part due to nutritional deficiency, you may benefit from vitamin supplements, but this should be on the advice of your healthcare professional.
If you decide to try natural and herbal supplements, remember that they can have side effects and drug or food interactions. For example, St. John’s Wort—a promising herb used for treatment of mild to moderate depression—can interfere with prescription drugs such as blood thinners, birth control pills, and prescription antidepressants. Make sure your doctor or therapist knows what you are taking.

Other alternative depression treatments

• Relaxation techniques. As well as helping to relieve symptoms of depression, relaxation techniques may also reduce stress and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.

Acupuncture. Acupuncture, the technique of using fine needles on specific points on the body for therapeutic purposes, is increasingly being investigated as a treatment for depression, with some research studies showing promising results. If you decide to try acupuncture, make sure that you find a licensed qualified professional.

Original post found here:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-treatment.htm

Read More

Difference Between Dating & Being in a Relationship

Dating itself can be incredibly confusing, much less, defining what your relationship status is. The difference between dating and being in a relationship can be subtle. It is important to discuss relationship boundaries with the person you are dating, and be clear in your communications with them.

COMMITMENT CONVERSATION

The difference between dating and being in a relationship is commitment. If you are going out with someone on a regular basis, and you and your partner have agreed to date only one another, then you are in a committed relationship. However, if you are dating a person and neither of you have agreed to date exclusively, then you are not in a relationship and you are both free to also date other people.

MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL

Some of the most heartbreaking relationship problems can be caused by lack of communication. It is important to discuss your relationship status with your partner so you can get on the same page. A mutual agreement is necessary for determining where you are in your relationship. If any of this is unclear to you, at any point in the dating process, you should discuss it with your partner.

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS

Prior to talking, you should sort out how you feel about the relationship, aside from anything your partner may feel, and decide what you want or need from your partner. The book, "Getting Love Right: Learning the Choices of Healthy Intimacy," suggests asking yourself the following questions: "Are the people you are presently involved with capable of giving you what you want in a relationship? Do you share similar expectations for the relationship? Are you currently involved with someone who has the potential to be a healthy partner?" After giving these questions some thought, you will need to have a discussion with the person you are dating.

TALK IT OUT

So, you are confused about the status of your dating relationship and you need to have "the big talk". How do you bring it up? The best way to have this discussion is directly, and in a friendly manner. Also, it is best talk in person. Discussing your dating life via phone, e-mail or text allows for miscommunication. Be direct and ask the person whom you are seeing if they want to be exclusive or not. If the person you are seeing is reluctant to discuss the status of your relationship, give them a few days to consider it. If they still shy away from discussion, this could be a red flag.

CONFUSING BEHAVIORS

Occasionally, you might date someone who displays confusing and sometimes manipulative actions or behaviors. For example: You have discussed it and have decided not to have a committed relationship, only casual dating. However, your date becomes possessive when your cell phone rings, or someone says hello. Or, your date will attempt to convince you that they are only seeing you, but they won’t actually commit. In either of these cases, you should reevaluate your relationship and consider whether or not you want to be involved with a person who is manipulative.

Original post found here:

http://datingtips.match.com/difference-between-dating-being-relationship-13443231.html

Read More

5 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Confidence gives you the power to conquer the world. Here's how you can learn to be confident in all you do.

    CREDIT: Getty Images

Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others. They face their fears head-on and tend to be risk takers. They know that no matter what obstacles come their way, they have the ability to get past them. Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light even when things aren't going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

Wouldn't it be amazing to have this kind of self-confidence, every day of the week? Guess what? You can.

"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." --Barrie Davenport

It comes down to one simple question: If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?

Try some of the tips listed below. Don't just read them and put them on the back burner. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today. You might have to fake it at first and merely appear to be self-confident, but eventually you will begin to feel the foundation of self-confidence grow within you. With some time and practice (this is not an overnight phenomenon), you too can be a self-confident person, both inside and out, whom others admire and say "Yes!" to.

1. Stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity

This is the time to really evaluate your inner circle, including friends and family. This is a tough one, but it's time to seriously consider getting away from those individuals who put you down and shred your confidence. Even a temporary break from Debbie Downer can make a huge difference and help you make strides toward more self-confidence.

Be positive, even if you're not feeling it quite yet. Put some positive enthusiasm into your interactions with others and hit the ground running, excited to begin your next project. Stop focusing on the problems in your life and instead begin to focus on solutions and making positive changes.

2. Change your body language and image

This is where posture, smiling, eye contact, and speech slowly come into play. Just the simple act of pulling your shoulders back gives others the impression that you are a confident person. Smiling will not only make you feel better, but will make others feel more comfortable around you. Imagine a person with good posture and a smile and you'll be envisioning someone who is self-confident.

Look at the person you are speaking to, not at your shoes--keeping eye contact shows confidence. Last, speak slowly. Research has proved that those who take the time to speak slowly and clearly feel more self-confidence and appear more self-confident to others. The added bonus is they will actually be able to understand what you are saying.

Go the extra mile and style your hair, give yourself a clean shave, and dress nicely. Not only will this make you feel better about yourself, but others are more likely to perceive you as successful and self-confident as well. A great tip: When you purchase a new outfit, practice wearing it at home first to get past any wardrobe malfunctions before heading out.

3. Don't accept failure and get rid of the negative voices in your head

Never give up. Never accept failure. There is a solution to everything, so why would you want to throw in the towel? Make this your new mantra. Succeeding through great adversity is a huge confidence booster.

Low self-confidence is often caused by the negative thoughts running through our minds on an endless track. If you are constantly bashing yourself and saying you're not good enough, aren't attractive enough, aren't smart enough or athletic enough, and on and on, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are becoming what you are preaching inside your head, and that's not good. The next time you hear that negativity in your head, switch it immediately to a positive affirmation and keep it up until it hits the caliber of a self-confidence boost.

4. Be prepared

Learn everything there is to know about your field, job, presentation--whatever is next on your "to conquer" list. If you are prepared, and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar.

5. For tough times, when all else fails: Create a great list

Life is full of challenges and there are times when it's difficult to keep our self-confidence up. Sit down right now and make a list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for, and another list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, on the wall by your desk, on your bathroom mirror--somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and what an amazing person you really are. If you feel your self-confidence dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself feel and be inspired all over again by you.

Original post found here:

http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html

Read More